Beyond the Surface
by Leo's Lair
Summary: A life of torment by peers took her life and yet in her death she has changed the fate of the wizarding world.  Sequel to Faceless Person.


This continuation of "Faceless Person" was inspired by Mikee, the first reviewer I had on the reposting of the fanficiton so I dedicate this fanfiction to Mikee. Please read and review.

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For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why Lily hated him. James sighed, messing up his hair again. He leaned back in the chair in Defense, lazily waving his wand and making the quill dance. The redhead shot him a glare, and continued taking notice, trying to ignore the quill that kept hopping over to her parchment. Why wouldn't she pay attention to him? He was one of the most sought after guys in school, next to Sirius but she wouldn't give him the time of day. But she still was ignoring him.

Sighing he leaned forward, watching the cabinet with the Boggart give a shutter. A sly grin spread across his face. Snivelus was closest to the Boggart, if he just—

"Mr. Potter,"

James jumped as Professor Dyke came towards him. "Yes ma'am?" he asked trying to force an ease he didn't feel.

The Professor had that look in her eye. "Why don't you come up to the front of the classroom and perform the spell I was just talking about?"

A quick side glance at Lily's notes and he relaxed. The spell was a minor revealing curse that made a memory that was at the forefront of the mind play in broad view. He smiled sassily at the professor and stood up. "Well, I suppose I could give it a shot," he cracked his knuckles and winked at Lily, who rolled her eyes. Sirius let out a wolf-whistle as he went to the front of the classroom. "Who's my victim?"

"You will cast the spell at me, Mr. Potter, nice and simply, all right?" she said glaring down at him.

Smirking, James stood on the left side of the room as Professor Dyke positioned herself…directly near Snivelus. His hazel eyes lit up at the idea and he glanced at Sirius. Mouthing: _watch this_, James waited for the Professor to say begin.

"Cast it," she said straightening her robes.

"_Revelio Memoria!_" he aimed directly towards the spaced-out Slytherin.

Snivelus suddenly jerked, rage entering his eyes as he seemed to be fighting the spell. Professor Dyke frowned and started to speak but was cut off when a mist swirled in the front of the class room. A picture of a journal appeared, the words blurred slightly but a male and female voice clearly mixed—one writing, one reciting.

"_I don't want to be famous; it's never been a dream for me. I don't want cameras flashing in my face at all hours of the day. But being a nobody isn't what I want to be either. Nobody ever notices me. Yesterday I was slammed into the wall by Sirius Black, everything spilling out of my bag. No one noticed. No one cared…."_

"Mister Potter! Your aim leaves something to be desired!" Professor Dyke exclaimed.

"Make it stop!" shouted the Slytherin getting to his feet, holding his head as he tried to stop the memory.

The pictured wavered for a moment but continued, casting all of the room into silence at the next words.

"_The Marauders are the only people that notice me and I wish they wouldn't. Yesterday Sirius cut my hair in Charms. All he got was a detention. I've been growing out my hair since I was seven. He just cut my braid off with a severing charm. He could have cut my neck through and all he got was a detention…"_

Snape was growling to end the spell but Professor Dyke only could shake her head. "Once the spell is enacted, Mr. Snape, it cannot be removed. If you were listening to my lecture you would have—"

"_It's strange. All I feel is this strange numbness. My chest hurts constantly, a dull ache. Sometimes it gets too much for me to handle and I use the razor..."_

A few of the girls gasp.

James felt the color drain away from his face. The picture was wavering again as Snape fought the spell. Glancing back at Sirius, James floundered for what to do but Sirius had a bemused 'nothing affects me' look on his face.

"_It doesn't matter anyway. I'm just anther faceless girl, faceless person. A faceless person in a world of faces. I'm nothing. Nothing special at all. Brown hair, eyes, fat loaded in my gut, nothing outstanding. I blend in to the background…"_

Two accusing green eyes were on him with a glare that normally would not have affected him. But it did. He knew the voice, the female voice now. It was that nameless Ravenclaw. The one that had died a week or so ago.

"_Today was even worse than before. They started teasing me again, about anything and everything. I got away around lunch and came out to later to find them tormenting Severus Snape, the Slytherin that gets it almost as bad as I do. I wanted to help but…well…I think that I would have ended up in the Hospital Wing if I had tried."_

Remus was sitting perfectly still; a silent war raging on his face while next to him Peter looked around, as if trying to understand why everyone was so quiet. James took a step back, looking at the swirling picture of the journal, the voice continuing:

"_We are both hated. But he was just the same as them. No different. He shouted at me, calling me a worthless Ravenclaw. When I didn't leave immediately he slapped me across the face. Hard…"_

All eyes swung towards the Slytherin accusingly but James could only listen.

"_Perhaps it was in the stinging in my cheek or just the realization that even someone who gets teased like I do can't like me, I've made my decision. I'm never going to be anybody. I know that but if there is nothing in life for me, why life at all?"_

Unaware he had been walking backwards, as if trying to walk away from the memory being projected, James hit the first desk. It couldn't be true. He looked over at Remus again but his friend's eyes were shining with tears.

"_I didn't bother eating dinner, my gut had grown solid and my heart ached like never before. I felt as if everything was hopeless. I snuck out just after the Prefects returned at midnight. I've thought of several ways to go but most involve pain and I don't want that. I've been consumed by it so much to want to slice my veins. I can't even cut deep enough in my wrists or arms when I cut myself to do too much damage. I have scars, but not many. So I've chosen the potion route…"_

It was just harmless pranking. Nothing serious. They did the same thing to the Slytherins…

"_My body will be here for a long time…no one will miss me…no one will even notice I'm gone. The potion takes a half hour to do its work and then I'll just slip away. No pain. Not any more. It was the most painless potion I could find and it took the least amount of time. I didn't want it to be prolonged…."_

His knees grew weak.

"_I just want to leave. Maybe once I'm dead nothing will hurt me every again. I'm writing this in the room right now. Already I'm starting to fade, I can feel it. My chest hurts as I think about my parents. I love them but…I can't do this anymore. I'm alone."_

James met Snape's cold black eyes that glittered with an emotion he couldn't read.

"_No one will even realize I'm gone. Life will go on and I will slip out of everyone's memories like I never existed. I never did. I'm a nobody. Lord, somebody, please, take me away…"_

The memory faded, leaving the entire class in silence save for a few sniffles and muffled crying. There was a scrapping of a chair that caught his attention. Tearing his eyes away from the hate-filled black ones he found a pair that made him wish that he had thrown himself off the astronomy tower that morning.

"Do you understand now, James Potter?" Lily's rage-filled voice cut through the classroom like a knife. "Do all of you in that pathetic group understand what I've been trying to tell you for years?"

"Come on Lily, you can't seriously say this was our fault," Sirius tried.

"Can't I?" the emotion in her voice cause James' heart to wrench. "You all sit here as if you had the right to mourn her! As if you had the right to feel bad but none of you tried to help her when she needed it."

"What was her name?" Remus' grief stricken voice came next. His face was streaked with tears and his eyes glowing with pain.

Lily shook her head. "What does it matter to you anymore? She was just a nobody you could pick on." Sweeping her books off the table, Lily left from the room in an angry huff.

"Class dismissed," Professor Dyke said quietly. "Potter, detention, tomorrow at eight,"

James gave a cut nod looked to his friends. Sirius was staring very baffled at the glares the Marauders were receiving, as was Peter. Remus was staring blankly at his desk. "I…I didn't know…"

"It was nothing, Prongs, let it go. It was Snivelus' fault anyway. You heard that," Sirius said with a shrug.

Suddenly Remus shoved himself away from his desk and stormed away. Glancing at Sirius for a moment, James hurried after him. He caught up to his best friend halfway across the Hogwarts field.

"Moony, slow down! We didn't know! None of us did!" James tried.

Remus whirled around, his eyes flashing. "I have tried for years to keep from killing someone and now, because of you, a teenage girl in our year is dead!"

James took a step back, stunned.

"Lily was right, James. You, Sirius, Peter, me, we're all to blame for her death!" Tears were leaking out his honey-brown eyes. "Whenever you and Sirius start picking on someone I stay back, holding back my thoughts. I can't do this anymore!"

"Moon—"

"NO!" his eyes flashed gold for a moment. A small roll of thunder echoed above them, as if responding to Remus' anger. "You all act as though words don't hurt! As if words, your words can't affect people!"

"They're just words, Moony." James whispered, horror flooding him.

"Just words? Just words!"

James had never seen Remus so angry before.

"The decree that bans me from having a normal life is just words as well James!" Remus exclaimed. "The laws that a Death Eater is evil and must go to Azkaban are just words! Hell, people pointing at me and telling me I'm evil because of this…this curse are just words!"

He stared at his friend.

"Words are everything and you don't seem to see that!" Remus shook his head. "We killed someone, James. Because of our words, we killed someone!"

The raven-haired teen took a step back.

"We made her life such a hell that she drank poison!"

Rain started to drizzle down on them.

"We're murderers."

"No." James whispered.

A half mad look entered Remus' eye. "Really? If a werewolf scares someone half to death by threatening them everyday, is that murder?" He didn't want for an answer. "If a Death Eater arrives everyday and plays psychological mind games with their victims to the point where they go mad and kill themselves, is that murder?"

He took another step back.

"We are murderers because of those _words!_" Remus shook his head. "You made me become what I've hated," he said quietly.

There was a tense moment of silence before Remus turned to walk away.

"Moony, I—" James stopped at the look he received from his werewolf friend.

"Just leave me alone,"

Mutely he watched his friend walk straight into the Forbidden Forest. Numbly he stared after him, his mind a torrent of rampaging thoughts.

"James?" a voice to his side caused him to jump slightly. Emerald green eyes stared at him. "You've been standing out here for hours,"

Blinking James realized he was soaking wet. "Has Remus—?"

Lily shook her head. "I'm not sorry for what I said in class today," she said after a moment.

James looked back towards the forest. "I didn't know. I didn't understand, Lily. I…I'm sorry. I just…I didn't understand,"

A warm hand touched his forearm. "Sirius and Peter still don't," she said quietly. "They pinned Severus to the castle wall upside down."

The raven-haired man shifted.

"James, what she did was not your fault," Lily tried. He shook his head. "I'm serious,"

"No you're Lily,"

Rolling her eyes she sighed, exasperated. "At least you still have that twisted sense of humor," she growled.

He shook his head again. "Lily, Sirius and I…we never stopped. We never do stop. The girl, the Ravenclaw was right, we should have been expelled for half the things we've done. Sirius could have killed her with that spell,"

"But in the end it was her choice," Lily countered.

James swallowed hard. "That doesn't change the fact that we—I pushed her towards the choice. That I took away any reason she might want to live…that I took away her hope,"

"No." he looked up at her startled. Lily slid her hand into his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "But it change how you act in the future,"

For several long minutes in the cold rain they stared at each other, each wondering and thinking. Water dripped into their eyes and froze them but after what seemed like ages to each of them, he gave a small nod and squeezed her hand in return. It wasn't much, but maybe he could stop it from happening again.

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Reveal Memory

**A/N:** I won't say this is very good, I have little to no experience writing James Potter's character but I wanted to show to you all the true damage words can have on people. I don't think this does it justice but I wanted to show the different reactions that could be had if a tormentor or bully was ever confronted with the true depth of the consquences of their actions. Sirius Black took the typical reaction of bullies--the 'I dont care, your just being weird' attitude which is what causes teasing and bullying to continue. James Potter and Remus Lupin however, I wanted to show more depth. In the books it is said that something changed James between his sixth and seventh year which made Lily begin to date him. In a way this is my speculation on why. Peter Pettigrew, on the other hand, was a minute character even in the Marauders from the books so I made him Sirius' shadow more than anything else. Please read and review.


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